It seems like I can't ever get over wanting more, something new or different, whether it is a book, a pair of shoes, or a tube of lip balm. How does a person get to the point where enough is enough? Why am I always left craving more stuff? I have been thinking and praying on this for a while now, and it seems like God is taking his time letting me know. I try to be good, I really do, but I guess there is some part of my DNA that is missing.
The story: After church on Wednesday evening, the bus driver who brings children from all over the city to our church needed help delivering the kiddos back home (the church bus was at camp for the week). YB and I offered to take a child home (we could only take one 'cause of Boog's car seat). Bus driver pointed out a 'tween boy for us to deliver, and we all got settled into the car and off we went. The boy was so talkative and friendly, and he said "Wow, this is a really nice car!" Now mind you, our car is 5 years old and nothing spectacular (see here) and I have actually been dreaming of a new car for some time now, even though Monty is perfectly fine, I just feel like something NEW and BRIGHT and SHINY and CLEAN with that NEW CAR SMELL.
We get to the child's neighborhood (a run-down trailer park) and see the sort of conditions he lives in on a daily basis and here I am complaining about my perfectly nice car when the child has plywood covering several of the windows of the trailer where he lives, along with junk all around the trailer and some rather unsavory fellows chatting across the road. Will this boy ever know the life that it seems I am so ungrateful for? My "not good enough, more, more, more" is his "oh my gosh, you are so lucky".
I have no reason to be so unthankful (if that's a word) for all of the blessings that God has bestowed upon my family and me. I have a wonderful husband and son, as well as parents and siblings, we have a nice home, a reliable automobile, good paying jobs, clean clothes and a full pantry. How can I get myself to realize that "enough is enough"? I have all that I need and I should be sharing the blessings with others instead of always wishing it was more.
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1 comment:
I hear you. It's almost like we have the expectation that it is normal to have everything continually better in our lives. Contentment is a tough choice, and I think desiring it and living it are completely counter-culture. Awesome post.
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